Today, I didn’t want to get up, and I really didn’t want to go to work to spend 4 hours running craft sessions for children. I wanted to stay in bed in silence with the curtains closed. The cat however, who hadn’t been fed, had decided the lump in bed was his best bet for food and he wasn’t giving up until I moved.
So, with an internal grumbling monologue about cats, family & weather, (wet snow, doesn’t settle, doesn’t look pretty, just gets you cold & wet – there’s probably a brilliant Scots word for it) I got myself moving, with plans to finish early if no one turned up. I was miserably looking forward to writing the afternoon off as a waste of time. You know the regular self doubt “What’s the point? What good does it do? Why am I doing this?”
Grabbed a coffee & snack on the way in, about 11:30, opened up prompt, and no sign of anyone. Negative voices kicking in big time, but I thought I could get a few chores done as I was in.
Within 15 minutes a regular popped their head round the door to say Happy New Year & that they were going for lunch, but would be back later. I hadn’t seen them since November, so it nice to know they were still around. I thought, I can do this sociable thing with just 1 person, that will be doable.
Then a new family arrived, so the introductory spiel kicks in, both children are keen on drawing, so I get them set up, and chat to the mum about the other things we do. My daughter has also emerged from her book and wants to join in painting too.
The negative voices are now having to take a back seat, because another new family arrive, the introduction talk starts again, and soon the children are all chatting away about Minecraft. So within an hour of what had started off as a dull grey afternoon, was suddenly busy & colourful, and I was too occupied to mope. That coffee I bought on the way in, I finished it around 3, and yes it was cold & revolting.
By the end of the afternoon, with an overall turnout of 7 children ranged between 4 & 11, I was tired but happy, and importantly so were they. I don’t ever do the CBeebies grinning like an idiot approach to children, but I also don’t want to be grumpy in front of them, they come to the craft sessions to have fun after all.
I am aware I like being on my own far too much, I need things that make me interact with others, but my antisocial Christmases and tendency to hibernate in January does not help. I have got this first session of the year out of the way, so fingers crossed next week will be easier.
Tomorrow is the first of this year’s “Me-days” a habit I’ve got out of. Time when I am me, not someone’s wife or mother.