Today is not a good day. It could be because of a number of reasons:
- It’s ANOTHER grey miserable day, or
- because I felt really positive yesterday, and this is a reaction to that, or
- I said something I shouldn’t have (I felt taken for granted, but I could have phrased it more tactfully, or not said anything –idiot) I will have to apologise – I should have already, but I feel feel small, petty, with a side-order of embarrassment.
- or because I have done a list of all the things bugging/ annoying/ worrying me and while I know there are people with a lot more problems than me, I feel swamped right now.
Somedays, none of my coping mechanisms work, and as well as wanting to crawl back into bed for the next two weeks, I have realised that despite my best efforts I have entered the “Bitch-phase” of January.
The worst thing is, it’s the people I care about that get it the most. This is not an excuse. I knew it would happen, I even said it would happen.
How people cope with depression day after day, week after week, amazes me, I am struggling and I know mine is seasonal, that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Plus I feel so selfish going on about it, I’m boring myself. Which makes this a good place to stop.