Oh how we laughed


Well it’s that or cry. So Theresa May is now the UK’s Prime Minister and seems to be attempting to troll the world.

It began with her speech outside Downing Street – if you watch the video, you can hear protesters at the gates.

In David Cameron I follow in the footsteps of a great modern prime minister.

That’s my lack of a proper education showing up again, I’m pretty sure great & modern are not the first words that spring to my mind when thinking of Cameron, and the absolute state he’s left the UK in.

David’s true legacy is not about the economy but about social justice … From the introduction of same-sex marriage to taking people on low wages out of income tax altogether, David Cameron has led a one nation government and it is in that spirit that I also plan to lead.

I will admit that getting same-sex marriage on the statute book is a good thing, however I think that was more to do with societal will than Cameron himself.

The full title of my party is the Conservative and Unionist party and that word unionist is very important to me. It means we believe in the union, the precious, precious bond between England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

She seems determined to make a stand.  With that and her elevation of Ruth Davidson to the Privy Council – does this mean a new Scottish Secretary?

It means we believe in a union not just between the nations of the United Kingdom but between all of our citizens – every one of us – whoever we are and wherever we’re from.

*cough* I haven’t forgotten the Go Home immigration vans

That means fighting against the burning injustice that if you’re born poor you will die on average nine years earlier than others.

If you’re black you are treated more harshly by the criminal justice system than if you’re white.

Excuse me? Who was Home Secretary?

If you’re a white working-class boy you’re less likely than anybody else in Britain to go to university.

If you’re at a state school you’re less likely to reach the top professions than if you’re educated privately.

If you’re a woman you will earn less than a man.

If you suffer from mental health problems, there’s not enough help to hand.

If you’re young you will find it harder than ever before to own your own home. If you’re from an ordinary working-class family, life is much harder than many people in Westminster realise.

Hmm, and which party has been most culpable for the current inequalities?

The government I lead will be driven, not by the interests of the privileged few but by yours. We will do everything we can to give you more control over your lives.

When we take the big calls we will think not of the powerful, but you. When we pass new laws we will listen not to the mighty, but to you.

When it comes to taxes we will prioritise not the wealthy, but you. When it comes to opportunity we won’t entrench the advantages of the fortunate few, we will do everything we can to help anybody, whatever your background, to go as far as your talents will take you.

I wonder if she’ll get someone to look into the tax affairs of the company her husband works at? With its links to Amazon, Starbucks, JP Morgan Chase, Lockheed Martin, Philip Morris International, Merck & Co and Ryanair.

I’m sorry I know I’m repeating myself but this speech reminds me of Thatcher reciting St Francis and we ALL know how that turned out.

(And NO, it doesn’t mean we need another Blair)

If that wasn’t enough she announced some of her new cabinet today.

Osborne was out – presumably someone in the May household is capable of towel folding.

He has been replaced by Philip Hammond  – I would say cue Top Gear jokes, but instead of Clarkson, we have an even bigger buffoon..

It’s no joke Boris Johnson is the new Foreign Secretary. A man nearly as offensive when he travels abroad as Prince Phillip. Gods help the Foreign Office and Diplomatic Corp, they are not going to have an easy time ahead. And the cherry on the cake is he will I believe be in charge of MI6. This racist, over-ambitious, dangerous man will represent the UK on the world stage. Fuck sake.

We now have a new position in cabinet of Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union who in future will be no doubt known as the Brexit Secretary, or maybe even Brexitary with eurosceptic David Davis.

Liam Fox, the former DISGRACED Defence Minister, takes up as Trade Minister role to strike deals outside the EU. Classy. And would have been the big story if it wasn’t for Johnson.

Michael Fallon has remained Defence Secretary.

And finally Home Secretary goes to Amber Rudd (I had actually heard of her prior to this) who is the former self-proclaimed Thatcherite Energy Secretary  who led for the Remain camp in the EU referendum debates, and commented that Johnson was “what my mother would describe as, ‘unsafe in taxis.” So fun and games between Home & Foreign Office as usual.

Right I’m off for another cider, I’ve finished this one.




3 thoughts on “Oh how we laughed

  1. Fox has an easy couple of years ahead of him, as UK *cannot* enter in to trade negotiations with any other country while still an EU member, a fact which seems to have escaped most people’s notice.


  2. Pingback: The 3 Amigos – Mewsing Out Loud

  3. Pingback: Tory Advent: Day 12 – Mewsing Out Loud

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