Yesterday was this blog’s anniversary (it was started to help me cope with my January blues) and then this morning I received a blunt DM from a friend reminding me it had been a month since my last post and that I needed to “make time.”
He’s right (no gloating you – it’s unbecoming)
I needed to set aside time; the blogging had ground to a halt initially because of a variety of reasons – moving house 10 days before Christmas adds a certain spice to the season – but this last week I have been procrastinating.
I can’t blame Twitter; the usual post holiday cabin-fever has taken hold online with resultant arguing and I have reducing the amount of time Tweeting/lurking because to be honest I really can’t be arsed with it all. I love a good argument – it can clear the air – but the levels of snark and “irony” now is just boring and a lot of it seems to be the same old points being done to death. I struggle this time of year so I need to be away from that negativity because it is easy to join in.
It’s also not like there isn’t stuff to talk or rant about, I’ve have bits of blogs started in my head over a few topics. In fact the number of subjects I could have blogged on seemed overwhelming when trying to start this. So I went for the easiest option to get me back into the habit – my self-doubt.
Yes I am usually positive and especially over other people’s work, I can cheer-lead for friends any day. But my stuff – oh no that’s a different story.
Starting again after even this small break takes me back emotionally to my first posts and doubts. The fear of hitting the publish button. This post is twice as long as it could be as I waffle to avoid finishing. Having butterflies from writing a few hundred words on nothing much; maybe I could become Theresa May’s speechwriter? he talks a lot but says nothing.
The voice going round in my head – Why am I blogging? Why would anyone want to read what I think? Ugh, this is crap. <this one all the time
So I’ll try to tell myself the same thing I’ve said to others who have thought about doing it; Why not you? Your opinion is a valid as anyone else’s. No one gets picked out and told they must write because their opinion is special.
Plus blogging is cheaper than therapy.
So I hope dear readers that you will both excuse me for this bout of “meeeeeeeee.” I’ve done my first post (again) and in theory it should make the next one easier and hopefully more interesting.